Grey Too Early

Dear Reality Board Observer,

On a innocent inspection of our family computer looking for a virus problem I discovered that one of my kids has been doing some nasty things on a number of internet boards and I am so upset about this I don’t know what to do with myself. I haven’t said anything yet and it has been hard to keep my mouth shut but I am stewing and stewing about it but now I am certainly not going to get her her own computer for her room,no way that is
going to happen She has been doing all this right under my nose and I never noticed. I am very concerned that she is getting to involved with people that according to the news can be very dangerous. I’m scared for her after all the stuff I read and I’m pulling my hair out.

Grey Too Early

Dear Grey Too Early,

I’m sure this must be a tough time for you. Now is not the time to let your emotions take over. If you confront your daughter you will not only harm her trust in you, but you will also harm your ability to monitor her activity. Kids have access to computers everywhere; at school, libraries and friend’s houses. She does not have to use the home computer to do what she is doing. You are better off installing one of those "key stroke trackers" that keeps track of everything she types. They are small and they usually install between the CPU and the keyboard, but there are others out there that install in different ways. Using one of these devices will allow you to monitor everything she does on the computer. You will have to hold your tongue when you read it all, but be ready to step in if, AND ONLY IF, you feel like she is in any real danger.

Or you can just do nothing, stop snooping and hope for the best. Perhaps your parenting to date has produced a good kid and she will always do the right thing. Only you know what the answer is since I don’t know exactly what she was up to that upset you s much.

I wish you luck with this. Be careful.

-RBO